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Editor's ViewpointMeditations Of A Minnesota Mossback |
The Physics Of Pitchforks . Have You Hugged Your Chicken Today?
We approach St. Patrick's Day, which as everyone knows celebrates the driving of the snakes out of Ireland and gives us an opportunity to drink green beer.
A lesser-known celebration is St. Urho's Day on March 16. St. Urho was reputed to have driven the grasshoppers out of Finland with a pitchfork, thus saving the grape crop. The official celebration colors are green and purple.
St. Urho is a fine piece of folklore, but there seems to be a method to this madness: the Irish reportedly believe the Finns just made the whole thing up to get a day's head start on the beer.
I would simply like to go on record as saying that I believe it is physically impossible to spear a grasshopper with a pitchfork.
What is more, if the Finns had kept chickens in their back yards, they likely would not have had a plethora of grasshoppers in the first place.
Chickens are omnivores, eating a combination of seeds, tender green shoots and live, wiggly things that some homeowners spend good money to kill.
The best eggs come from chickens with a healthy diet. Just try to crack one: the high calcium content is evident. People now shell out lots of chicken feed to buy those so-called "designer" eggs. If those folks had a few chickens in the back yard, they could eat fresh brown eggs every day and save the gas money.
But for some reason, our local municipalities have something against chickens.
Hugo's city code, for instance, requires five acres to keep a chicken - the same amount of space required to keep two horses. Does that make sense? Even where the city meets the country, two horses (or two "animal units") require a lot more space than a chicken, which is considered 0.01 "animal units." Furthermore, for every additional acre over five, Hugo's code allows another horse. A proportional distribution would indicate that 200 chickens can legally be kept on five acres, 300 chickens on six.
Lino Lakes is presently considering banning the keeping of barn animals on residential lots, while city staff will be able to issue kennel permits for up to four dogs on one-acre residential lots. What could possibly be the problem with a dozen chickens next door, if four dogs or a few pot-bellied pigs would be acceptable?
The cities of Atlanta, Chicago, Des Moines, Houston, Los Angeles, Madison, Miami, Minneapolis, New York, Seattle, Sioux City, and Victoria, B.C. - among many others - allow city-dwellers to keep chickens.
Sure, I have heard it said that chicken excrement tends to be fowl. But at least it doesn't sneak up on you, like the mess the dog leaves in the twilight before you head out for the fall bonfire. My guess is there are creative ways to minimize any olfactory issues with chickens similar to the code requirements in place for residential dog kennels.
My guess is what gets neighbors really stewed about the keeping of poultry is the noise.
My neighbor Diane has a cross-stitched piece hanging in her kitchen that says, "The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers the goods."
Exactly. And as every farmer knows, you don't need a rooster to keep egg-laying hens.
That's probably what bothers Joe Soucheray of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, one of my favorite curmudgeonly columnists, who recently lamented the possible coming of "dumb clucks" to St. Paul. (But then, Joe's logic never extends past the garage to the kitchen.)
Eggs are nutritious and good to eat: that debate over whether egg yolk presents a health risk is still up in the air. During World War II shortages, eggs were an important protein staple in the U.S. and England. According to one researcher, by the end of the war, the average American consumed 403 eggs annually.
In 2008, when more people are turning to food shelves for a helping hand, it seems to me that cities should be supporting residents who want to raise as much of their own food as possible.
Think of the jobs for the neighborhood kids when chicken-keeping families go on vacation!
"I mowed lawns."
"I chicken-sat!"
One Lino Lakes homeowner I know maintains a simple, low frame in her small, fenced back yard for her family's chickens to roam in. The frame is open to the fresh air, and covered with chicken wire to protect against airborne predators. The bottom is open, allowing her small flock to forage in the grass for bugs, spiders, worms and other delicacies. Every few days, she simply drags the lightweight frame to a fresh patch of grass.
As a country gal, sirens outside a downtown hotel window are far more likely to render me sleepless in the wee hours than my neighbor's rooster (yes, he has one) or the White Bear Township train whistle. City-dwellers probably don't hear those sirens at all.
Of course, there will be issues. You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
But if city council members consider domestic egg production as a way to contribute to the self-sufficiency of families, involve children in daily chores and enhance animal welfare in our nation's food industry ("Have You Hugged Your Chicken Today?"), thinking outside the coop and allowing chickens on one-acre residential lots makes sense.